Stomp Once if You Have a History Of Heart Disease

...and swing your head in a circle if you want a sugar cube.

A whiner came in this morning.

Who wouldn't expect to complete paperwork as a new client?

"All these forms for a massage?"

Yes, as a matter of fact. If we haven't seen you before, it's standard practice to fill out paperwork.

"For a massage? I've never had to fill out this much stuff for a massage."

My guess is you never have to do much of anything because you whine and kvetch your way out of normal, everyday inconveniences that the rest of us put up with.

You know what this woman said? She said that the prospect of taking 15 minutes at most, to complete 10 pages of standard new patient intake forms was "stress inducing." Stress inducing! Lady, you're getting a massage for crying out loud. I work here and I have to complete paperwork if I'm new to a particular modality. With all that's really wrong in this world, I can't get over how much energy people waste complaining about checking a box here and there, jotting down a few words, signing their names and dating the form. Until it occurred to me that maybe they can't read or write.

I think that's why the thought of having to write her name and address, etc. sent today's freakshow into a panic one might expect of someone sitting down to an SAT test. Whatever.

So I had her sign and date the informed consent pages, and told her she could send us the rest of the forms, which she claimed she had completed, but "left them at home." Uh huh.

I hate complainers. I really do. I'm a big fan of repression and the stiff upper lip and all that. I agree with Nike's slogan: Just Do It. And even with my own mental and emotional deficits , I'm still able to deal with the little things, and even some of the bigger crises without having a conniption

And more than anything else, I hate people who expect to get something for nothing. Lazy, self-centered, narcissistic, bloodsucking black holes of need. Those noisy, insatiable abysses of lack and human retardation. Those meal-ticket scrounging bottom-feeding vultures. They should be publicly humiliated and made to suffer the ultimate fate of parasites.

Fumigation.



Co-Independently,

Cindy