Wednesday, April 27, 2005

All Knowing or Just Guessing?

I've always believed that following my first instinct is the best course in decision making. Lately, this hasn't worked so well.
Calling upon my inner voice, my higher self, my know-it-all-guides, and the person/concept/force called 'god', has sent me down the wrong road, meeting the wrong people, buying unwaxed floss instead of waxed, and generally, my timing is lousy and now I trust nothing.

Up until now, I thought perhaps something was blocking communication with my divine backseat drivers. Or, maybe I hadn't waited long enough for a true response, and heard only my own faulty best guess. Well I'm tired of taking the blame for bad decisions after humbling myself to the point of asking for help--or least an opinion, in the first place. It's not my faulty information being acted upon. So who's taking the rap for this? Whatever that divine force is, seems to be striking out a lot these days, I mean really, really off. So has god ever been right about anything?
You'll recall in Genesis, when his pet humans got out of hand, he actually regretted creating us. God, yes GOD had a Homer Simpson moment, uttering a thunderous "D'oh!" at the poorly thought out Project: Earth.

I'm beginning to think that if life were a cosmic Jeopardy game, god is the contestant who's buzzer doesn't work. Which wouldn't matter much, since he'd sheepishly avoid categories like US Presidents and Modern Metallurgy in favor of Saints on Celluloid and World Series Records. Of course people at home would root for him--the beloved underdog, his buzzer being busted and all, and the fact that he's really, really old and blurting out the answers in spite of the other contestants ringing in first. But when he yells, "I'd like to buy a vowel, Alex," all suspicions would be confirmed. Not only does god not have all the answers, he doesn't know how to play the game.

Life seems to be more like the Wheel of Fortune. Maybe that was god's point in his desperate plea for a vowel. You can only prepare so much, and then it's a crap shoot. You can try to gauge the momentum needed for a big prize, but that doesn't gaurantee you won't end up bankrupt, or worse, with Samsonite luggage.

All I can do is spin and spell, and hope that the writing on the wall is plain and clear when it's my turn to solve the puzzle. And as the lights come on, and the blanks fill in with meaning, I realize that all this time, I should have been praying to Pat Sajack.



Blogger AskRock said...

It's a good thing that eternity is not all it's cracked up to be! From reading your works it is plain to me:


3:47 PM  
Blogger Cindy St. Onge said...

Yes, I will be going to hell--in my BRAAAND NEEW CAR!!

"Pat, I'd like to us my free spin now."


4:01 PM  

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