Saturday, June 11, 2005

It's Very Camp. But Not in a Good Way.

What if one morning, something in the water, or electrically charged air, caused a whole lot of people in this country to wake up? And in this glorious awakening, they realize that Christianity isn't an idealogy, but an epidemic psychosis?

What if the narcissism, paranoia, delusional thinking, and auditory hallucinations--all classic hallmarks of the Biblically afflicted-- finally alarmed enough people into action? You'll tell me, "Cindy, not all Christians are bad. There are fundamentalists in each religion who give the whole bunch a bad rep."

And you'd be right. But I'm not concerned about suicide bombers and the Taliban at this particular moment. I've got a beef with just about everybody on this planet. I can't address them all in one blog, dear. So let me complete my thought about the group that seems to affect policy more and more in my homeland.

So, everybody wakes up one sunny Monday or Tuesday, and it finally occurs to them that all the mothers in this country who murder their children are Bible-thumping-home-schooling-smock-wearing-husband-worshiping-pro-life house fraus.

The message these whack jobs are sending to the world?

"I don't believe in killing unborn babies. I'd rather wait until they're old enough to scream and fight. I want to see the terror in their eyes. You miss all that if you abort 'em."

But it's ok, because there's a biblical precedent in Abraham's near-sacrifice of his son Isaac, after hearing what he believes is God's voice instructing him to retroactively abort Sarah's only child.

If you can condemn your own children, everyone else is fair game. The famous and oft redacted quote by Pastor Niemoller, which begins "First they came for the communists, and I said nothing," begs the question, who are 'they'?

Maybe it's the ruling elite. The government, the aristocracy, the power mongers. Mavbe it's someone who rules the ruling elite. Who came for Europe's pagans? Who came for Spain's Muslims? Who came for the Africans? Who came for the Aztecs? Who came for the witches? The epileptics?The left-handed? The deformed?

One group came for all of them. The Christians. And in Bartlett, Tennessee, they've come for 16- year-old Zach.

Zach came out as a homosexual to his parents recently, and they want him cured. In some rural areas of this country, it is still 1953. In some satellite-delayed mentalities, being gay is still a personality deficit that can be reconditioned into a pre-1970 socially acceptable norm.

In short order, after administering a thorough emotional beating, Zach's parents have sent their son to Love In Action Re-education camp. Or LIAR, for short. It's not Outward Bound. It's not theraputic horse riding. It's an anti-thought prison and a part of the homophobic and misogynistic pogrom instituted by the religious-wrong Amerinazis.

It is at LIAR, that Zach will learn to identify with his true heterosexual self, the real Zach, the Zach that God will love unconditionally, as long as he continues to identify as straight.

They've come for Zach. Hopefully he will leave camp stronger, gayer, and more authentically Zach. If you link to his blog, you'll notice in his profile that he's open-minded, accepting, just a 16-year-old doing things teenagers do--music is his god, he says. Before he came out to his parents, he could love a lot of things, and believe he was just as deserving of being loved back.

Why is he such a threat?

He hasn't done anything wrong. He hasn't committed a crime, he hasn't sprayed a cafeteria with bullets or tortured the family dog or lost his homework. He's just gay.

What if people woke up tomorrow and decided that it's the Christians who need to be re-educated? Imagine what would happen if the mentality of 'enough is enough; stop this madness now!' reached critical mass. Imagine a society where all the Zachs and Matthew Shepards could live and thrive and contribute their gifts--undiminished, unthreatened, unjudged.

"But the Bible says..." The Bible says a lot of shit. Did you know that to be a priest in ancient Judea, a man had to pass a penis inspection? If his pecker or nuts were flawed in any way, he'd be disqualified. How gay is that?

"So, yeah, if you want to be a priest, I'm going to have to examine your Johnson. Real close-like. Just following orders, man."

Yeah, right.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again, the redactors omitted the rest of Leviticus 18:22, which says, in effect, that a man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman, because it's an abomination.
The omitted part?

"Kneeling is much easier."


Blogger Cranky Bastard said...

Bill Maher has also gone on record on this topic, Cindy:

"Followers of organized religion suffer from a neurological disorder."

Cranky Bastard goes on record with:

"So many christians, so few lions."

5:18 PM  
Blogger ladyshark said...

so many christians, so few lions???

you mean too many people, not enough tsunamis.

don't you know, chap, what humans touch, they corrupt???

you should say something about muslims, they don't deserve "human" rights.

you know, the only thing to trust are animals. animals act on instinct, humans act as reflex. maybe if we got humans out of this world, that would be a solution...

dilemma- what does the afterlife hold???

i say keep the tsunamis coming

1:32 AM  
Blogger Rhein said...

yep, middle america scares me, just much as everything else. i'm paralyzed, petrified- what to do?

5:22 AM  

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