Thursday, May 05, 2005

If It's in the News, It Must Be True

What's in the news today? Well, a woman in India has had 34 maggots removed from her nose. The pain in her cheek drove her to her physician. Funny, weeks of squirming around her sinuses and gnawing away at nasal tissue-- making little Rice Krispy noises (as these critters will do), weren't enough to send her nervous system a memo saying, "Maybe you should blow your nose."

Prosecutors in the Michael "Am I Crazy? Only to Other People" Jackson case seem to be losing. I never would have guessed that their case had so many holes in it. I've got to hand it to the defense--they've done their homework. I assumed the DA's office had as well, but apparently all the evidence they had been gathering up until the indictment was just stuff somebody thought they could sell on Ebay. I thought the state would skewer the ambivalently gendered Jackson. It seems my judgement was a tad hasty. Good thing we have trials to sort these things out instead of acting on what I think.

Speaking of trials, the judge threw out Lyndi England's guilty plea. Looks like her defense of "my brain made me do it" worked. I'll make a note of that...just in case.

Jennifer Wilbanks, the infamous runaway bride, in what will likely be weeks of continuous and effusive apologies, has stated the she can't wait to be married, and "to be called Mrs. John Mason." Oh, Jennifer, all you had to do was say no. I learned the hard way. When your gut says "nu-unh" while your head plays the tape of your mother asking "When are you going to settle down and give me some grandchildren?" you need to listen to your gut, because you can always hang up on your mother.

I'll bet you anything, that a couple years from now, Mrs. John Mason will be apologizing in the news again, only this time it will be for slaughtering John Jr. and Prissy Belle. I just have a feeling.

I saved the best news for last: America has come to its senses at last and has sent Scott Savol packing. He recieved the fewest votes during this week's American Idol, so it's back to his babymama--well, back to within not less than 50 feet of her anyway, in Cleveland or wherever he's from. Good riddance and check that attitude, man. You don't wear cocky so well.

That's all for now. Drive home safely.



Blogger ladyshark said...

woman in India has maggots, is a cool article. thanks for visiting my blog. i liked your bio saying emotional and spiritual wreck. i'm the say way. yes, i do have controversial subjects on my blog, but it's a way to deal with stress. we might be birds of a feather. will check in with ya later.

5:30 PM  
Blogger Cindy St. Onge said...

Ah, wonderful!

I do appreciate your kind words, and it occured to me when I saw the links to Rotten.com and Adipocere at your site, that we have kindred interests.
Real isn't always pretty, is it?


6:07 PM  

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