Thursday, June 30, 2005

Casual--My Ass, Friday

Tonight, corporate drones and other hive-types will go through their closets and drawers, laying out their Friday ensemble. Some will smooth over nice pairs of Levis and shake out crisp cotton/rayon polo shirts. Others will pick out one of a thousand pairs of khakis, pairing with them a Hawaiian shirt on a bad acid trip. Because tomorrow isn't just Friday. It's Casual Friday.

Casual Friday, at many companies, is the once a week reprieve from buttoned-down stiff'n'stuffy office attire. Hey, pal, leave your tie at home today. Be comfortable. I'll show you my loafers if you show me yours.

Wow. What a nice, selfless--not to mention progressive thing these bosses have done for their underlings. That's really pushing the envelope, thinking outside the box. I'm so lucky to work here. Maybe these hoopty-ha executives are people just like us. Maybe they'd rather wear Dockers and tennies just like me. I really think they understand that if I had to wear pantyhose just one more day, I'd just be asking for a yeast infection. My boss really gets me, because we have Casual Friday.

There are other ways that tight-ass corporate tight-asses bestow kind and merciful departures from the dress code, and other minor rules in their codes of conduct. Western Day, Hawaiian Day, Bring your Kid to Work Day, and the biggest rule buster of all: the company Christmas Party.

Come on, It's only one day of the week. What harm can come if the rules are a little more lax on Friday? By Monday, everyone will be back in suit and tie, crisp and professional, keeping their spotless noses to the grindstone. Why not mix Fridays up a little bit?

If these upper management types really want to show their employees that they can ease up on the 'thou shalt/thou shall nots of the employee handbook, if they really want to walk their 'devil may care' talk, allowing, encouraging everyone from the peons to the Peter-Principled to let it all hang out--here are some suggestions on meaninful alternatives to Casual Friday.

+Clothing Optional Friday
+Sexual Harassment Friday
+Embezzlement Friday
+Conflict of Interest Friday
+What Code of Conduct? Friday
+You Do this Shit Job for a Day Friday

Is there an email that might come back to haunt you? Some porn on your browser? A bad review in your employee file? A paper or electronic trail of anything you may not be proud of? Then suggest this to your morale committee:

+Conflagration Friday
+ Somebody Paid Good Money for the Sprinkler System and
Fire Extinguishers So Why Don't We Use 'Em? Friday

May I suggest the following occasions, which might go a long way in creating a work environment that is more open and caring:

+I'm Leaving Now Friday
+I'll Stay Longer if I Can Drink at My Desk Friday
+New Employee Hazing Friday
+Occult Arts Friday
+Gang Violence Friday

Friday is the day where everything goes--there's no such thing as being unethical and to hell with social taboos:

+My Religion is Better than Yours Friday
+Democrats vs. Republicans Friday
+Prove Mormonism is a Cult Friday
+Presidential Election Recount Friday
+Who's Had an Abortion? Friday
+ Meth Lab Dos & Don'ts Friday
+Go Ahead, Admit You're Gay Friday

And last but not least--
+Burn an Executive of your Choosing in Effigy Friday




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