President, or Poster-Child for the 'Severely Disabled'?

George W. Bush is a a complex man. His persona is multi-faceted and his roles are myriad. He is the fulfillment of biblical prophecy to the Armageddon-obsessed nihilists. He is the steward of godly values to the religious wrong. To the working poor and middlish-class, he is the spoiled, playboy son of a powerful family. He is the pot of gold for corporate America, especially oil companies. He is Satan incarnate to Islamic fundamentalists. To many, he is just a simple-celled organism.

Good or bad, puppet or kid in a candy store full of weapons and Generals, George W. Bush is astounding. He is an outright miracle, for two reasons. First, this man moves among Christian zealots and creationists, courting their support and allying himself with their beliefs, even though it's plain to see that he is, in fact, the missing link. He doesn't hide the fact that he has a monkey face, or monkey thoughts. He doesn't talk about it, but he doesn't deny it either.

Right there--in front of evolution-denouncing preachers--he stands or sits, shaking hands, pretending to listen, nodding his organ-grinder-rhesus monkey head unabashedly. Darwin isn't turning in his grave. He is clawing frantically out of it, so that with a mouldered and mossy bone, he can point to George and growl, "See!"

The second wonderous quality of our president is something that has confounded the world's finest, brightest medical minds. Researchers, neurologists, the CDC and the AMA--they observe Bush giving speeches, enjoying vacation, holding press conferences--and they are absolutely mystified.

How, they want to know. How on earth is it possible for someone to have no detectible brain activity for so long, and not have gone into massive organ failure?