Thursday, November 03, 2005

Test Tubular

I have completed my eight-week course of urine injections, and by golly, I think the shots actually worked. I've only had to buy one box of Kleenex in a month, I sneeze once or twice a day, as opposed to fifteen or twenty times. I don't have to sleep wearing a filter mask, and I can breathe deeply through my nose without it tickling.

Incredible. My doctor says the next test is to take a break from my allergen-infested environment for a few days, perhaps get away to the beach or mountains, or a sparkling clean hotel, then come home and bury my face in George's fur and see what happens.

I'm really blown away at the improvement I've noticed. Amazing, pee shots really work.

My next holistic adventure: Therapeutic IV. I'm not as squeamish about needles after inoculating myself for two months, so I'll let my phlebotomist brother draw blood and run it in his lab then subject myself to intraveinous vitamin B.

Although I'm consenting to all of these experimental treatments, I half expect the Animal Liberation Front to show up at my clinic during my IV session.

Guinea piggishly,



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